By EsquireLife

September 23, 2018

Your Watch Tells a Story so Wear it with Caution

Everything I’m going to say here is my opinion.  I know some of you idiots are going to get offended and I honestly don’t give a fuck.  Two things, either you’re going to be a little bitch about it and leave a dumb ass comment like, “This whole article is trash?”  Or you’re going to be a man about it and strive to do better in life like I did. Stop being a fucking troll and learn something instead of criticizing, you bitch ass.

Believe me, I didn’t start wearing Luxury time pieces until I was in my late 30’s.  Well first of all I couldn’t afford them when I was younger, but I knew what I wanted in life.  Everything I want in life I achieve, one of my bucket list items was a Rolex Watch.  That wasn’t on my priority list though, because I wanted to buy a home first (PRIORITIES) but once I bought my homes I knew what the next think was… and no not watches, it was Cars.

You can never fake a car or a house.

Unless you have a Chrysler 300 and put a Bentley grill on it or you live with your mom and tell your dates it’s your house.   I wanted to make sure that I had those things first.  At the same time I couldn’t see myself spending $1,000 or even $10,000 for a Timepiece.  But once I knew I was able to afford it, I said fuck it, what’s with worse that can happen.  Holy shit, what ever happened, happened, I was set to another level.  This is a very addicting habit to acquire.  Now my watch collection has exceeded my expectation.  It’s true, when you have something of value that you work so hard for, you appreciate life more and people see your achievements.

I’m not saying that the watch made me into a Dick.

But you have a certain confidence levels that connects everything else you have achieved in life.  I can’t show off my house because I don’t like strangers in my personal space.  My cars, I can show off but only at a stop light because once the light turns green all you see is my tail lights as I take off.  A watch is totally different.  Since I interact with a lot of people I want them to take me serious.  I’ve always said this, “I can’t show you how to be successful, if I haven’t been successful.” Also Read:  Does Wearing a Gold Rolex Make you Pretentious

It’s like a Poor man giving you advice on how to be Rich.

I had a lady one time stare me the fuck down in a parking lot.  That bitch just studied me so hard, I believe she saw my fat ass walking with my hot ass wife.  My wife was dressed up and I was dress up.  The Rolex I was wearing was sparkling in the wind, and my wife’s Rolex was shimmering in the light. This lady was stabbing me with her looks as if she was mad at me for some strange reason.  She looked pissed off at me.  To top it all off, she followed us into the parking lot and when she saw me getting into my Tesla, her look of disgust was even worse.  What the fuck did I do Bitch?

People that don’t have hate people that do have.

It’s ok, because I have a lot of jealous people that follow me.  This is the reason I don’t have social media or friends.  I keep myself out of drama because it only brings problems into your life especially when you’re married.  So many fake people out there, and when these fake people see they can have a better life with you, all the bitches line up at your door.  It looks like I went off into a tangent, like I always do.  Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

These are somethings that your watch says about you.  In no particular order.  Also, please don’t think I am talking shit about your watch so don’t get offended you little crying bitch.


I wear a Smart watch like the whole world does.  Especially, my Apple Watch and I really like how just by changing the watch band you can either dress it up or make it sporty looking. But it’s not a dress watch.  My Apple Watch has a metal band to make it more versatile with my everyday outfits.

What your watch says:  It let’s me know that you’re current with the latest technology and you alway like to be connected with the outside world. But fair warning a smart watch is not a watch for all occasions.  I should not see you wearing a smart watch in a Tuxedo.  You have to know when not to wear your smart watch.  Don’t get me starting on men wearing belt clip phone holders in a suit.

It’s an awesome watch, but when I’m wearing a suit to go out on a date, I don’t want to be connected to the world because my focus should be on the beautiful women sitting across from me.


Those watches are so hideous.  Everything is so exaggerated on those watches. When you put those watches on you look like an idiot.  If you can’t afford the real Luxury watch please don’t wear one at all.  I can’t take you serious when I see you wearing one.  If you can’t be genuine with that, then the rest of you is fake just like your resume. Invicta tries to copy luxury time pieces.  The other day I walked by a jewelry store, and the person there ask me if my watch was an Invicta,

I said, “Fuck You, it’s a Rolex.”

What your watch says:  Please shoot me now.  To me this is a watch company that tries to fucking hard.  Every person I’ve seen wearing an Invicta watch, looks like they’re trying to perpetrate they’re rich.  No mother fucker you are not, you’re just trying to show off to the world that all you can afford is a $50.00 watch to make look like a $5000.00 watch.  All you do is tell me what you drive and how many sneakers you have.  Why do men like showing off to other men, you must be gay. It’s ok if you are.  If you’re not, then why aren’t you trying to impress women.  Because I really don’t care about your Yeezy’s.


You know I had to bring in the big guns after taking about Invicta.  Like I mentioned I never had a Rolex at a young age because I couldn’t afford it.  But now that I’m in place where I can spend my hard earn money on myself, I want to reward myself for my hard work.

What your watch says:  When I see someone wearing a Rolex, I can definitely take this person serious.  This person will be more mature and probably an older gentleman.

One time remember seeing a kid wearing a fake Rolex Yacht Master.  I knew this kid didn’t know anything about Rolex models because he was dressing like a little thug.  You could tell his watch was fake, so I asked him, Bro, I like your Yacht Master, he said back to me, “No it’s a Rolex.”

Rolex is a watch that will put you on a new level.  Every time I wear my time piece I know people take me serious.  Especially that lady in the parking lot staring me down. “How in the fuck does this fat ass Mexican have all that?”  I’m assuming she was referring to my wife.

Audemars Piguet or Patek Philippe

What your watch says:  When I see someone wearing a timepiece like a AP or Patek, it’s like seeing a famous celebrity.  To me that’s a whole new status.  Every person I’ve ever seen wearing a AP or Patek is usually driving a Bentley or a higher.  This sets you off.  You need to step back and let this person walk through because they’re serious about there watch game.  I love my Rolex watches, but when you pop your wrist and I see a Royal Oak or a Nautilus on there, it’s more of a, ‘I’m Not Worthy moment.”

I saw this gentleman at a restaurant wearing a Gold AP Royal Oak.

I honed in carefully on the watch as if I was about to do a heist.  No, I’m not ghetto like that.  He was walking out of the restaurant with his wife to the valet. I knew this man was about to get into a vehicle that complimented this AP, the valet pulls up in his Rolls Royce Dawn.  That just shut me the fuck up.  This person had to be someone that was big.  His $50,000.00 Gold Audemars Piguet Royal Oak was no toy.  Like Eric from CRM Jewelers in Miami, FL calls it, “It’s A Heavy Hitter.”

Please people dress your wage income.  Don’t trying to be flossing acting like your dick is big.  Now a days with all these Crypto-Millionaire and Ecommerce Giants, I wouldn’t doubt if a 21 year old is wearing a real Patek Philippe watch. I can’t hate all I can do is work even harder to get to that level.

Are you a watch enthusiast trying to protect your Rolex from scratches?

Introducing Phantom Protect Luxury Watch Guard – the toughest and most durable urethane film on the market designed specifically for luxury watches. It acts like invisible body armor while preserving your timepiece’s look and style. Plus, it’s easy to apply in just minutes!

You deserve peace of mind with your expensive investments and Phantom Protect can provide that along with stylish protection against everyday wear and tear. No more worrying about any minor dings or scratches ruining your premium look.

Buy now to get high-end protection for your luxury watch today! Be sure to check out our watch protection film.

watch protection film